Remind me again why I have a blog. Becasue obviously I am really bad at keeping it up to date, and no one looks at it anyway! But I guess having a blog is a good way for people to "stay in touch." So here is what's going on in my life right now. I am currently:
homeless
jobless
friendless
wardless
moneyless
For some reason I keep hearing in my head the line from Princess Bride..."friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were, unemployed, in Greenland?!" Yikes, I am sounding a little like Fezzik right now. Minus the Greenland part.
Anyway, my life may seem bad, but you better believe everything is going to be ok. And this is why. Not having a home means that I could just bum off of someone new everyday, and when Sunday rolls around, I can go to a different ward every time and keep meeting new people! And they would never know that I have the potential to be sitting on the side of the road with the other Provo bums, dirty and smelly with nothing to my name and a sign in my hand that reads "heaven help me." Plus, this way of living is free, baby. And jobless aint bad. Who likes to work anyway? And who needs friends when I got Laura and John? And I basically already explained the benefits of not having a ward. Moneyless? Once again, all I need money for is food, and like I said, all I have to do is bum off people and I am sure they will feed me.
Alright. This is really what is going to happen. Yes, I am homeless right now but I am going to find a place to live real soon. I have plenty of options, I just want to make sure I am in a good ward. However, I still think it wouldn't be to hard to survive homeless. I do have a car, and already discovered where I would sleep if I was out of luck trying to find someone to stay with. Today I drove to a park and went and layed in the grass in the shade (because I didn't have anywhere to go home to) and it was nice. A perfect place to sleep! I have been looking for jobs too, and I am sure I can find somewhere to work. I have to pay for rent and food and school in the fall and stuff! No biggie. I have never had many friends anyway so I am used to that. As far as a ward goes, well once I find somewhere to live I will have a ward. And once I find a job I will no longer be moneyless, and can therefore pay for everything I need to pay for. That is how my life really is. It may not seem too glamorous, but I have a lot to be grateful for.
Just a side note: I love my family more than anything else.
Alright peace.
3 comments:
Oh Audrey Girl! You always make me laugh. This is just another experience you will be able to tell your kids about...The time you were homeless. Love, mom
that's funny because rent is soo cheap during the summer in Provo. Last week kid-to-kid was hiring.
audge. i liked the idea that your friend gave you. start up a business called "rent a girlfriend" for all those sad sacks who want to pretend like they have a g/f at their mission reunions
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