Thursday, September 1, 2011

I'm..........................gonna call it night.

My thoughts a couple of weeks ago:

"This semester is gonna be good. New apartment. New ward. New dudes. New me? Yes! A new me! A social me! Naaaah. Yes! And I will be confident and talk to anybody and everybody and social will become my middle name! Alright, sweet. Let the new semester begin."

Here's the current score.

Audrey: 0 The new semester: 863

Last night we had a ward social titled "Homemade ice cream and homemade root beer extravaganza!" Beats me why they didn't just call it "Root beer float night." Anyway, the root beer was already made, but the ice cream wasn't. Whaaaaaa? You are telling me we have to make our own ice cream? How long does this take? Does this mean that I might actually have to talk to people as I make my ice cream? So I grab a baggie, put some milk, sugar, and vanilla in it and then put that baggie in a bigger baggie with ice and sea salt and start shaking. After I assemble my ice cream making kit, I look up and realize that there is a massive sea of people called my ward. GULP. I immediately scan the crowd to look for my security blanket: the Spokane boys. I find them. Phew. Then, after the ice cream FINALLY develops some viscosity, I bust that baggie open, poor some root beer in, and drink. I head over to the Spokane boys apartment and within 18 seconds realize that I will not be having fun with them tonight. Because they all sit down and open their textbooks. What? Who does homework during the first week of school? Apparently they do. So. I open their door and find that the sea of people is still gathered, chattin the night away. Right in front of my apartment. So, I hastily walk through the sea and into my apartment and, as the title of this post implies, call it a night.

Tonight. I find a flier on my door that says. "Luau at the pool! Wear Hawaiian stuff! We will be eating Hawaiian haystacks and playing limbo and some other games that I don't remember!" I think, "Sweet! Free food! I'm there." So. I get home from class. Luau has already started. I scan the sea of fellow Colonizers. Don't recognize anyone. So I bee line to the food, chow, and then people-watch by myself. And after about twenty minutes I think, "Not that I don't love beefcakes that are just waiting to take their shirts off and get in the pool and girls that are trying to look sexy in hula attire or anything, but (you know what's coming) I think I'm gonna call it a night. Which brings me here. Writing this blog post. Hello.

*Mom: be not distressed. I will make friends and practice flirting. Eventually.

4 comments:

Mish said...

Audgers, this is obviously the story of my life as well. I've been thinking a lot about this kind of thing lately, though, and I have some unsolicited thoughts:

1)Being social is not/should not be an end in and of itself. Many people would have you believe otherwise, but it's just not true. It's just not the most important thing.
2)Sometimes it seems like the most important thing, cause we're stuck in this relentless bubble where eternities are often determined at Root Beer Float night, but the truth is that there's a big, huge world out there where yours and my insecurities are irrelevant. There's stuff that needs to be done, people that need to be helped, causes that need supporting, and there's no time for feeling inadequate. I really think someday we'll look back on all these ward socials, with all their attendant anxiety and sense of failure, and realize just how insignificant they really were.
Okay done.

Ann said...

You're killing me, Audge! You're seriously killing me. Get back in the fight! You can still come back! You better come back, Audge. Good thing this was a super fun post, cause otherwise I'd be majorly stressed out for you. But I'm just gonna believe that the next time, you are going to go to the party, and you are going to shake your hula skirt like it's no tomorrow.

Amy and Woody said...

O Audrey you are so funny!! I love reading your posts! We need to get together soon I for reals miss you

Stephanie said...

Oh Audge, the semester isn't winning. You are being social- you answer my calls! And you said you didn't like the phone thing. ;) Ward socials are stressful to anyone, don't you even worry about it. As Mooshy said, there is a way bigger world out there then beefcake colonizers and rootbeer floats.

PS Your writing is awesome. Your personality just shines through- you write like you talk. I love it. And I love you.